“What goes on in this house—”
Probably more than 90% of people in the black community are not only able to finish this phrase but have yielded to this unwritten rule for years –at any cost. Keeping people “out of our business” was understood, and never to be explained to anyone, for any reason, even if that meant never speaking about it again under the same roof where it [conversation/ incident] took place. The umbrella of means to which this rule may apply are likely to include but are not limited to: domestic violence, poverty, momma had a “friend” over, and one of the most “unmentionable” matters: sexual assault.
Identifying sexual assault.
Sexual assault is an act in which a person intentionally sexually touches another person without their consent, or coerces, or physically forces one to engage in a sexual act against his/her will.
According to research conducted in 2017 by Robin D Stone, author of "No Secrets, No Lies, How Black Families Can Heal From Sexual Abuse," 1 in 4 black women and 1 in 6 black men REPORT that they were sexually abused as a child. Two thirds of which the victims were under 18 years of age.
Numbers Don't Lie, EXCEPT During a Miscount.
Most of us were taught very early about our "private parts," and how NO ONE is supposed to touch those areas, but did they teach us how to identify the feelings or emotions that we may experience during such a traumatic encounter such as: guilt, shame, intimidation, fear of being doubted, accusations of seduction, and one of the most silencing: relationship.
Stone reported that in 95 percent of the cases, the offender was a family member or an acquaintance.
Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, family friends, momma’s boyfriend, or daddy’s girlfriend—all have helped breed contempt through familiarity for some victim of childhood sexual assault. Imagine being a kid and knowing how it felt to be told so firmly that it was WRONG for someone to violate you in any way. Imagine the anger in your mother’s eyes as she tried to prepare you to be cautious, and never wanting to see her that upset, again. Imagine being threatened not to tell, if you ever wanted to live to see another day. Imagine watching your mother love her relationship so intensely that you never envisioned her being happier. Imagine being the cause of her disdain because your attacker was momma’s man.
These thoughts are reasons why the numbers are not accurate enough to successfully quantify reports of childhood sexual assault in the black community.
Rule Breakers.
“What goes on in this house, stays in this house,” DOES NOT APPLY HERE. There is no conflict of interest. We are responsible for holding ALL attackers accountable
EVERY TIME.
Even if that means challenging the meaning of betrayal because loyalty will NEVER supersede a rightful conviction.
Increasing the volume of childhood sexual assault in the black community requires us to